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Legal Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

 

The 3 Pillars of Protection.

These ensure that the "stories" and "confessions" remain lighthearted and safe:

  1. Anonymity (The Archetype Rule): No real names of members, staff, or the club itself are ever used. Real people are transformed into fictional archetypes (like "Arthur" or "Gary").

  2. Reputation Management (Self-Deprecation): The humour targets the golfers’ own frustrations, medical ailments, and lack of talent, rather than criticising the club’s facilities, greenkeeping, or professional staff.

  3. The Editor’s Veto: As the Editor of the Manor, I have the absolute power to "spike" any story that feels mean-spirited or could identify a real person. ​

 

 

 

 

The "Global Shield" Legal Message

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"All characters and events at Crows-Foot Manor are works of satire and fiction. Any resemblance to real golfers, living or bionic, or actual clubs is purely coincidental. If you think a story is about you, it isn't—but if it makes you laugh, it was definitely written for you."

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The "Contributor Protection" Promise

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For people submitting stories via the website, the Golden Shield guarantees:

  • The "Scrubbing" Process: You promise to "scrub" their stories of any identifying details (specific hole numbers, club names, or real locations) before they are archived in the Manor.

  • No contributor's name or details are passed to any third party

  • The Confidentiality Clause: What is sent to the "Resident Archivist" stays in the vault. Only the fictionalised version ever sees the light of day.

The Medical Disclaimer is in The Clinic

https://www.crowsfootmanor.com/the-clinic

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The Golden Shield: Our Privacy & Protection Policy

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At Crows-Foot Manor, we believe that what happens in the bunker should stay in the bunker—unless it’s funny enough to be archived. However, we take the protection of our "Bionic Brigade" very seriously.

The Golden Shield is our ironclad promise to every member who submits a story, a medical moan, or a tip-off about Arthur’s latest scorecard miracle.

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1. The Witness Protection Program (For Golfers)

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When you submit a story to the Manor, it enters our "De-Identification Chamber."

  • No Real Names: Your name will never appear on the site. You will be assigned a pen name, or your story will be attributed to one of our Manor Archetypes.

  • No Club Names: We don't name real clubs. Every story, whether it happened in Chigwell, Coulsdon, or the Costa del Sol, is officially relocated to the fictional grounds of Crows-Foot Manor.​

 

2. The "Affectionate Wit" Guarantee

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The Golden Shield protects our reputation. We do not publish "hit pieces" or mean-spirited gossip. Our humour is strictly self-deprecating. We mock our own ageing joints, our thinning hair, and our even thinner backswings. If a story doesn't have a "clubhouse heart," it doesn't make the cut.

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3. The Editorial "Varnish"

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The Resident Archivist reserves the right to "varnish" the truth. This means changing specific details (like the exact hole number or the brand of your car) so that even your own spouse wouldn't be 100% sure it was you.

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4. Data Security (The Vault)

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Your email address and real identity are stored in a digital vault guarded by a very grumpy (fictional) groundskeeper. We will never sell your data, mostly because we wouldn't know how, but also because it’s against the Manor Code.

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5. The "I’ve Changed My Mind" Clause

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If you wake up at 3:00 AM with "Submitter’s Remorse," send an owl (or an email) to the Archivist. We will retract, redact, or rewrite any story at the member's request—no questions asked, provided you aren't just trying to hide a genuine 12 on a par three.

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