The 19th Hole (Pharmacy Edition)

If I wanted to spend this much time at a clinic, I would’ve taken up bridge," the golfer grumbled, leaning heavily against the pharmacy counter. He moved with the grace of a rusted gate, every millimetre of movement eliciting a winced "Oof."He dropped a crumpled script onto the glass. "Doc says it’s a mix of 'repetitive strain' and what he called 'the inevitable march of time.' I call it a double bogey on my lower back."

 

The pharmacist offered a sympathetic nod. "Golf is harder on the body than people give it credit for. Is it just the back?""Back’s screaming, knees are clicking like a metronome, and my wife says I’m swearing so much the neighbours think I’m learning a second language," the golfer sighed. "Lost my ball in the deep rough on the 14th. Then, I sliced one into the pond on the 18th. I think I used words today that haven't been invented yet."

 

The Recovery Plan

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The pharmacist began gathering the supplies, noting the golfer's visible discomfort. "We can fix the stiffness, but the vocabulary is on you. Here is the breakdown:"

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"For the inflammation, a course of Ibuprofen to take the edge off the joint swelling.

For the Immediate ache: A topical heat rub. Smells like a locker room, but it’ll loosen those lumbar muscles," the pharmacist joked.

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For the Swearing

 

A suggestion for a high-magnesium supplement. "Sometimes that irritability and 'short fuse' comes from dehydration and electrolyte depletion after four hours in the sun".

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The golfer gripped his bag of remedies like a hard-won trophy. "Magnesium, eh? If it keeps me from turning the fairway blue next Sunday, I’ll take a gallon."

He turned to leave, pausing for a moment. "Actually... do you have anything for a persistent slice?​

 

No? Figures."​